


Sapiens

by nomsie500



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Confusion, Dancing, Virgil has no idea what's happening, also pie, lots of shennagins, weird dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 08:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18657001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomsie500/pseuds/nomsie500
Summary: Virgil was just minding his own business when all of the sudden everything went dark. Just as he was about to call out for someone, the lights came back on and he was standing on a stage with Logan, Patton, Roman, and Deceit. Then some weird violin music came on and the other Sides started moving.Virgil has so many questions.





	Sapiens

Virgil was just minding his own business when all of the sudden everything went dark. Just as he was about to call out for someone, the lights came back on and he was standing on a stage with Logan, Patton, Roman, and Deceit. All of them were wearing turtlenecks and jeans in various colors: Logan in green, Patton in blue, Roman in red, and Deceit in yellow. Virgil looked down and found he was wearing the same outfit but in purple. When he looked back up, the other Sides had started moving and weird violin music was playing. 

Virgil just stared at them in bewilderment because they all appeared to be doing mechanical ballroom dancing. It was absolutely bizarre. 

As Virgil stared, the other Sides started interacting with each other. Virgil was perfectly happy watch from the corner, but then Patton pulled Virgil into the dancing.

“Why is this happening?” he asked.

Virgil didn’t get a response, only more weird ballroom dancing.

Then he was pulled into a group formation that Roman immediately pulled away from.

“Today you have the opportunity to witness the homo sapien in it’s natural habitat, the stage,” Roman stated, looking at an imaginary audience.

Roman came back into the group just as Patton left. The formation shifted.

“You mustn’t make any noise, sapiens are easily frightened and any noise from the audience will make them disappear,” Patton explained, rejoining the group.

The group started moving in a robotic manner, adding a pause between each move.

Deceit stepped forward. “Sapiens like to have conflict over silly things, usually about who ate all the pie. There’s nothing like a good voluntary man slaughter.”

Virgil was beyond confused. What did pie have to do with anything that was happening right now?

Logan spoke next. “Like a moth is attracted to light, sapiens seek physical contact from others, but they don’t actually want it. They boldly pursue it while being timid at the same time, and this can create a lot of confusion.”

“Sapiens like a good hug, but not from anyone. They prefer to face the world alone,” Roman added.

The Sides then proceeded to go into a section where they picked each other up and dropped each other on the floor. Virgil was picked up by Logan who unceremoniously dumped him on the floor, and it was then that Virgil decided he should just go with it.

Patton stepped out of the group. “Sapiens are here to stay, that is, if no one eats all the pie.”

Virgil had so many questions. 

Eventually, the group came to a point where Patton flipped over Deceit and the music stopped. Then there was a blackout and when the lights came up, Virgil was back on his bed. This only made him more confused, so he decided to go and sort out what the hell just happened.

Virgil came down into the common area to find the other Sides all watching a movie. He stood there for a moment before Patton noticed him.

“Hey there, kiddo. You need anything?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah. I was wondering what that weird dance scenario thing was all about?” Virgil responded.

“What dance scenario thing?” Roman replied.

“You know, the thing about sapiens and how weird they are,” Virgil explained.

“We have no clue what you’re talking about, Virge. Maybe you need a nap,” Patton said.

Virgil blinked at them, disbelief written all over his face. “You, what? Okay. Whatever, nap time it is.”

Once Virgil had left the common area, Patton looked at the others with a huge grin on his face. “Now that we’ve gotten rid of him, who wants some pie?”

**Author's Note:**

> So the dance that the Sides do and the things they say during the dance are based on a piece that was performed at my college. It was hilarious and I thought it would be funny to drop the Sides into the same situation but Virgil would be very confused. So, yeah. I hope you enjoyed it and make sure you don't eat all the pie ;)


End file.
